Never Shot Heroin
I never shot heroin
I’ve done so much wrong I feel a need to confess it
but I don’t know where to begin
I told so many lies
I looked straight into your eyes
I gritted my teeth and you heard what you wanted to believe
I used to steal
It was so long ago it barely seems real
If you take a dollar when no one’s around
the tree hits the ground and still hits the ground
and leaves a mark you forever feel
I’m not chasing a high
a nice little buzz is enough to get by.
I wonder why I can’t live my life like the rest of the hive.
I’ve done so much wrong I feel the need to confess it in a song
to the world
I used to hope I’d see a ghost
Explore old homes and dim lit corners
and dusty books that smell like attic.
Alone at night with shaky hands
I’d hold swinging pendulum waiting for a sight or sound.
I thought I’d be a gracious host.
I used to hope I’d see a ghost.
I used to say I’d have no regrets
but life unfolds like a novella with notable things to tell of.
And ordinary stories too.
Mistakes are worth the time it takes to live and grow and move along.
Reservations the day we met.
I used to say I’d have no regrets.
I used to hope I’d see a ghost.
But living ghosts stay tucked away in the dim lit corners of my brain.
Where I don’t go and they should stay.
I forgot you, I was close.
I don’t want to see your ghost.
God Is A Woman
God is a woman, a concept to measure our pain.
God never listens so I try not to complain.
I try to thank her but I end up making wishes.
I try to thank her but I end up just bitching.
This Song Is For Me
Baby Bird Flying
Ringing in my ear clears my sinuses
Making room for time as it passes
Once I was a miss now I’m a Mrs.
I’m a Mrs.
Annie hates his house it’s not her style
He teachers her his love likes she’s a child
Once she was demure and now she’s wild
now she’s wild
Zorai says, “there’s no growth without change”
Zorai says, “there’s no change without pain”
See the baby bird she’s trying flying
She stepped out of her nest to find her calling
Once she left the nest she started falling
now she’s flying
Don’t go in the attic all alone
Don’t go in the attic by yourself
Don’t go in the attic without an adult
Don’t go in the attic late at night
Don’t go in the attic with your hands full
Don’t go in the attic just to hide
Don’t go in the attic in the dark
Don’t go in the attic without lights on
Don’t go in the attic if you’re afraid
Under the Snow
I find the flowers and the budding trees
salamanders, little toads
I’ll find my self worth
I’ll find the earth
I’ll find the shovel and my sister’s keys
I’ll find the sidewalks and the roads
the will to pay my bills and venture forth
Under the snow
I’ll find my garden filled with hay and leaves
I’ll find my missing lense
I’ll find my glasses
I’ll see the trees
When it’s melted I will call my friend
say, “I’m sorry” and move on
I’ll find the courage to leave the house
I like you because no one likes you
they don’t get you like they don’t get me
because I have a pet rat
You’re with me when we go to France
dressed in drag at a poetry slam
boys and girls and pet rats
I wrote a poem about my rat and no one liked it
I wrote a song about my poem and no one liked it
I named you something in French about a Parisian clown
all my friends were impressed we were the talk of the town
me and my pet rat